Sunday, June 22, 2008

Extended Assertivness

Send a Clear Message
Ambiguity is a mistake that many people make when they want to deliver a message. Being straightforward and sending a clear message solidifies what you want. Over 50% of what an average person says is misinterpreted during a conversation. Be aware of what you are saying and how you are saying it so that your intention is clear.

Alter Body Language
Your body speaks a powerful language. People will read into whatever you are saying by your facial expressions and body language. If a smile is genuine and warm, then someone saying how nice it is to you will be better received. In the same way, when you are asserting yourself, your body and face should go right along with what you are saying. Use direct eye contact and establish a presence.

Stand Firm
In one section of my article I mentioned how important it is to be right when you are asserting yourself. In most cases there is plenty of room for negotiation and compromise. In some cases, however, compromise is not an option. When dealing with integrity and something you know is detrimental to a person or situation, you should stand by your convictions. Many times the right thing to do is not always the most popular or the easiest, but that doesn't mean that it should not be done.

Standing firm and holding your ground means that you've asserted your ideas and voiced your view on the opinion and will not back down. The most difficult thing to do is not to succumb to pressure and outside influences. Christian Nestell Bovee said, "Justice, not majority should rule". This means that the right thing to do should be on the forefront not what everyone else is doing.

This is a follow up on my article Assert Yourself Effectively posted on my
Personal Development Site

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Connecting daily activities to work-life goals

Everything these days is marketed to keep you moving. The Drive-thru, text messaging society we live in revolves around time saving, convenience so that you have more time to live your life. So why does it seem like we have less time for the important things in life? Even though we have responsibilities like work and family, personal development and goals are an equally important part of life. So how does someone handle work life-goals and daily activities?

Prioritize what is important
At different times throughout your day, you should be asking yourself if what you are working on is a priority. Most people will spend too much time on activities that aren’t as important as they may seem. Find out what are the major priorities for your day and handle them first. The devices and systems that are in place so that we have more time may actually work if we don’t waste the extra time we’ve saved.

Map your life goals
The morning DJs on a local radio station in my city asked people who were about 28 or 29 years of age to call in and tell them what they thought they would be doing 10 years out of high school. A lady called in and said, “when I was in high school I wanted to be an actress and I’m still pursuing that dream.” When the DJs asked how she intended on “making it big” she replied, “I’m looking for an agent but I’m not sure what else to do.”
Knowing your life goals is one thing, but understanding how to get there is another. It is amazing how many people know what their goals are in life but have no idea how to get there. When you map out how you intend on accomplishing your goals, you eliminate the possibility of taking a wrong turn. Know where you are going before you try to get there.

Delegate task
CEOs understand that they can’t do it all. That is why they have people under them to complete the task that they don’t have time to complete. Begin to incorporate the help of others into your life goals. Share your goals and passions with others and you will be amazed by how many other people have the same dream or know of someone who does.
Successful people are usually eager to help other people who want to succeed. Have you ever wanted to lose weight? If you told your goal to lose weight to someone who has lost weight, they usually jump at the chance to tell you how they did it and give suggestions on what you could do to accomplish your target weight. Use the knowledge, skills, and experiences of people around you.

Enjoy both life and work
Taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life can be an enormous boost. My father once told me “wherever you are, be there”. When you are working, be there. When you are with your family, be there. There is nothing worse than trying to enjoy a nice dinner with the ones you love, while thinking about the horrible day you had at work. Learn how to separate the two so that the negative aspects of the different parts of your life do not ruin the positive aspects.
With a clear vision, a good plan, and some help, you can reach your life goals without sacrificing life.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Confidence Challenge

Confidence is a transferrable characteristic. Having self-confidence is a great feeling. That is why so many people want it. It gives you a sense that you can do it all without fail. The projection of confidence comes with an added side effect. It causes others to increase the confidence they have in you.

A friend asked me recently if I could give a presentation for a group of high school students. The person she originally asked to do it cancelled last minute and she was stuck. I told her I’d move some things around so I could be free. The problem was the talk was a day away and she neglected to tell me what I was suppose to be presenting to these students.

The morning of the presentation I met her in the parking lot of the school and she laid out for me the program and the topic of the day’s events. I said to here, “I don’t have a speech prepared but I know a little about this so I should be able to fill 45 minutes.”
She said, “Oh I know you will. You’re so confident. They are going to love you.”

Just because I projected confidence in my ability to speak spur of the moment, she became confident in my ability to speak spur of the moment.

That made me ponder confidence and it’s power. The thing is, even if a person isn’t confident, they could reap the benefits of confidence if they project it.

My Challenge to you
This month increase you confidence projection. Find something that you do well and increase your confidence in it so that others around you will have confidence in you.

Advance challenge
So you already project confidence huh? Well, this month find something that you are not so good at and project confidences in that until people believe in your ability to do it.
Post your results here